Lists have been on my mind lately, so I thought I would run with it. Today's list is about things heterosexual couples can expect or take for granted when getting married:
1) They can expect to get the marriage contract (in or out of community of property) they decide upon.
2) They can walk into any jewellery shop together and expect to not get shocked, disapproving or funny looks when they ask to see their selection of wedding rings.
3) They can walk into any jewellery shop and expect to not be ripped-off and charged inflated prices when the clerk/owner find out the rings are for a heterosexual couple.
4) They can approach their church/religious institution, or virtually any other church/religious institution to host their wedding and expect to be accepted.
5) They can approach almost any religious minister about officiating their wedding ceremony without experiencing rejection or discomfort because of who they are marrying, or their gender.
6) They can expect to have joyful reactions on the announcement of their wedding date from friends, colleagues, family and the public, with invitations to the ceremony and reception eagerly accepted.
7) They can expect people to not question their faith, decency or morals because of the gender of the person they want to marry.
8) They can expect to not be asked silly questions such as "which of you is the bride?"
9) They can expect to be treated with respect and shown consideration when they call any church office to find out whether they will perform their wedding ceremony or to arrange to see the minister without being turned away just because of their sexuality or the gender of their partner.
10) They can arrange for catering/ a wedding cake/ a wedding photographer/ reception venue without fear of rejection or refusal of service when the business finds out about the sexuality/gender of the couple.
11) They can generally expect to have complete silence from the congregation when the minister asks if there are any objections to the wedding.
12) They can expect to book a honeymoon suite in any BnB/guest house/hotel of their choosing anywhere in the world without facing discrimination from the management/owner because of their sexuality or gender.
13) They can generally expect to see most of their friends and family at the wedding and reception without anyone getting in a huff, boycotting the wedding, or threatening to disown them if they go through with it.
14) They can expect to enter their wedding pictures in various newspaper bridal competitions with reasonable expectations that they will be published/accepted in local newspapers or magazines and not be met with a string of hateful letters to the editor in the next edition.
15) They can expect to tell people they are married and reveal who they are married to without experiencing adverse reactions and hostility.
16) They can expect to be treated just like any other married couple by government, businesses, hospitals, insurance or medical facilities or church or other bodies, without any discrimination or prejudice.
17) They can expect to have or adopt children and not have their worthiness as parents or guardians called into dispute by authorities, religious figures - or everyone around them, simply because of their sexuality or gender.
18) When people notice their wedding rings, they won't automatically make accurate assumptions about their sexuality.
19) When people see them walking hand in hand or indulging in ordinary public displays of affection during window-shopping at the mall, people do not point fingers, laugh out loud at them, or walk into things while staring.
20) They can expect to get married without having to jump through any flaming hoops or barrels because of one of us being registered as a gender we don't present as.
21) They can expect to move into a new neighborhood together without being met with hostility from neighbors, or to find hate mail or heaps of dog poop left on their front porch or in their mail box.
22) They somehow don't see any of these things as 'straight privilege'.
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All material copyright © Christina Engela, 2019.
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