I think we all start off hoping to start changing into that mythical supermodel with the long thin legs, that impossible Barbie waistline and cleavage we always wanted as soon as we embark on HRT... Meanwhile, it doesn't happen for everyone quite the way we hope it will, and certainly not overnight, if at all. I think it's an unrealistic expectation we all have.
We want the exterior to match the interior. We feel like beautiful people on the inside, and we want the outside to reflect that image we have been taught from an early age, a woman ought to be.
"I don't think my face is feminine enough". "I don't think I pass". "I look like a dude in a dress"... These are some of the many, many self-critical comments I've heard from many of my sisters over the years. Some of them I've heard from my own lips.
Many people tell me I'm beautiful. These days it's not so much that I believe them, eventually - it's more that it doesn't really matter to me what other people think of my looks.
I still think my jaw looks a little square in certain lighting, I still cringe at recent pictures that remind me of the 'old me'. I delete a lot of selfies! My voice still gets me called 'sir' on the phone or at the drive-through.
It doesn't really bother me anymore. Do you know why?