Thursday, April 29, 2010

20 Things I Take For Granted As A Heterosexual Couple Getting Married

Lists have been on my mind lately, so I thought I would run with it. Today's list is about things I can expect or take for granted as a heterosexual couple getting married:

1) I can expect to get the marriage contract (in or out of community of property) I decide upon.

2) I can walk into any jewelery shop and expect to not get shocked, disapproving or funny looks when I and my partner ask to see their selection of wedding rings.

3) I can walk into any jewelery shop and expect to not be ripped off and charged inflated prices when they find out the rings are for a heterosexual couple.

4) I can approach almost any church/religious institution to host my wedding and expect to be accepted.

5) I can approach almost any minister about performing my wedding ceremony without experiencing rejection or discomfort because of who I am marrying, or their gender.

6) I can expect to have joyful reactions on the announcement of our wedding date, with invitations to the ceremony and reception eagerly accepted.

7) I can expect people to not question my faith, decency or morals because of the gender of the person I want to marry.

8) I can expect to not be asked silly questions such as "which of you is the bride?"

9) I can expect to be treated with respect and shown consideration when I call any church office to find out whether they will perform my wedding ceremony or to arrange to see the minister without being turned away just because of my sexuality or the gender of my partner.

10) I can arrange for catering/ a wedding photographer/ reception venue without fear of rejection or refusal when they find out about my sexuality/ the gender of my partner.

11) I can expect to have complete silence from the congregation when the minister asks if there are any objections to the wedding.

12) I can expect to book a honeymoon suite in a BnB/guest house/hotel of my choosing anywhere in the country without facing discrimination from the management/owner because of my sexuality or the gender of my partner.

13) I can expect to see most of our friends and family at the wedding and reception.

14) I can expect to enter my wedding pictures in bridal competitions with reasonable expectations that they will be published/accepted in local newspapers or magazines.

15) I can expect to tell people I am married and who I am married to without experiencing adverse reactions.

16) I can expect to be treated just like any other married couple by businesses, hospitals, insurance or medical facilities or church or other bodies, without any discrimination or prejudice.

17) I can expect to have children, or adopt children and not have my worthiness as a parent or guardian called into dispute simply because of my sexuality or the gender of my partner.

18) When people see my wedding ring, they will automatically make accurate assumptions about my sexuality.

19) When people see us walking hand in hand or kissing during window-shopping, people do not point fingers, laugh, or walk into things while staring.

20) I don't see any of these things as straight privilege.

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