22 Things Heterosexual Couples Take For Granted When Getting Married

Lists have been on my mind lately, so I thought I would run with it. Today's list is about things heterosexual couples can expect or take for granted when getting married:

40 Myths, Busted

I thought today I might make a short list of things that expose the shaky foundations of most stereotypical anti-gay myths being peddled by anti-equality groups. In doing so, I found a list, upon which I based my list. (You can view the original here.)

Duck Blind

It was Constantine, the false Christian and Emperor of Rome, who founded the Catholic Church. According to Catholic tradition, he supposedly saw a message in the heavens, a blazing cross in the sky, which was said to be a promise from god to give him victory in his battle for political power in the Roman Senate. "In this sign conquer" it said, and so he went off to quickly 'convert' his thousands of soldiers with a flick of his wrist and a quick sprinkle of water - and conquered his own country by violence in what was essentially a coup. 

 

It's funny how sometimes we miss the blatantly obvious, but it finally occurred to me today that "conquest" is not a Christ-like value. Neither is "evangelism" since the word literally means "waging war".

Tick Tock

As some of you may have heard by now, Media24 - the former employer of South Africa's new Ambassador (excuse, me - "High Commissioner") to Uganda - is challenging the constitutionality of section 10 of Act 4 of 2000.

'It's Okay To Say 'Gay = Stupid' - BCCSA

In yet another case in point of human rights and equality laws not being adhered to and misinterpreted according to personal bias - and made to fail those whom they were intended to protect, "The Broadcasting Complaints Commission of South Africa refused to uphold the complaint, saying that "the word gay was not used to refer to homosexuality, but according to widespread current usage of the word amongst young people, to a carefree attitude and unjustifiable statements."

Portent Pending

Unlike quite a lot of people - and in what is practically an entire industry set up around the idea of telling people how "God" wants them to live their lives - I am not qualified to say what God wants - or what God says - and I don't believe anybody else is either. 

 

In fact, all I know is what I feel and what I want and what I need - that is what it is to be human and mortal - and fallible, isn't it? Some people, I think, would do well to realize this and put down their sharpened books, get off their lofty pedestals and stop waving their fingers down at us, as though they are somehow special and have a hot line to any god at all.

There is a disturbing trend developing in parts of the modern world, to connect good morals (called "morality") and Christianity, as if people who are not fundamentalist Christians are somehow automatically exempted from being people of good moral character. 

 

Feminists, even when Christian, are described as "backsliding" or "misled" simply because they believe, somewhat controversially - that women are or should be treated as equal to their male counterparts - and thus disagree with the Patriarchy, which had appointed itself - somewhat arrogantly and presumptuously, as a middle-man between humanity and the divine.

Angus-iety Attack

Did you see the front page of Rapport yesterday? And pg 4,5 and 16, with pictures too - with Angus Buchan plastered all over them, with his "real men" and patriarchy story? I ask you: is this sort of thing news? 

 

Honestly! Is the "Rapport" a newspaper - or a church newsletter? 

 

Given all the fawning attention Rapport (and its parent, News24) lavishes on this right-wing religious extremist figure, it might as well be.

Separate ≠ Equal

A little while ago I received a response from a priest who wrote to me about the subject of marriage equality in South Africa.

I had said in an interview with Behind the Mask - and he quoted me: "'Gay people can marry, but under a separate Act, and also, without a choice of in or out of community of property, and also without the freedom of choice to have a religious ceremony or not - and as Apartheid made us all keenly aware, separate is not equal - but it certainly is separate', Engela said."

Business As Usual

President Jacob Zuma's recent visit to Uganda drew a lot of attention to South African involvement in that country - and also to the revelation that there are many South African companies which have concerns, business interests and a corporate presence in that country. Despite the ongoing human rights violations against the LGBTIQ community in Uganda - and the consistent attempts by human rights organizations to draw attention to the threat against the lives of a minority group - neither the SA government, nor one of these companies has even once taken to speaking out against these devious and sinister practices.

There are quite a few very large SA companies doing business openly in Uganda - and we can be certain that there are many more companies who support the Ugandan regime just by doing business there - and by paying taxes to the Ugandan government. Of course, you are all encouraged to search for more online and to add them to your own lists and ask others to take further action yourself.

Not Otherwise Specified

I was asked a question by a friend the other day. "How does one rid oneself of the shame surrounding sexuality as indoctrinated by church and society, and especially being different and having a secret that one cannot share?"

I think we are all influenced by the very Victorian, conservative religious stereotype while growing up - the whole concept that "sex is dirty and wrong and sinful" - despite it being 100 percent natural, normal and even healthy. 

 

The historical Victorians have often been described as being 'too afraid to see themselves naked for fear it will lead to sinful thoughts'. And while this is an amusing, even flippant thought, ironically, it is this same Victorian stereotype which still haunts former British Colonies with its presence in leftover so-called "morality" laws. Even today, many independent former British colonies are using legal systems which were built upon the preceding colonial laws - laws which regulated the sort of clothing people (especially women) could wear in public for example, or laws which criminalized homosexuality in any form - a stunning intrusion of the imperialist mindset of the former British Empire into the private lives and bedrooms of those still living under these laws in 2010! 
 

There are signs however, that these repressive and backwards leftover colonial-era laws are slowly dying a lingering death. 

 

Die already, for fuck sake!

'Family Policy Institute' - Deciding For You What You Can Or Can't Have Access To

Like me, you might not like porn - I really have other interests, and I wouldn't waste my internet bandwidth on it - but certainly don't place myself in the position where I think I should tell people what they should be allowed to do or watch in private and on their own time - as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, of course. 

 

Now, aside from murder, rape, pedophilia and grand theft, I can't think of any reason why adult porn could be harmful to anyone. 

 

In fact, I'd say that even smoking is more harmful. 

 

However, I do know that opening the door to censorship legislation opens a whole other can of worms that may prevent you from seeing, saying or even doing other things which you take for granted now - and that you may actually WANT to. 

 

And that to me is far more harmful than anything people like Erroll Naidoo spend most of every day bitching about.

Proving Ground

This weekend was far more interesting than I wanted it to be. 

 

The fact that this is becoming a something of a regular occurrence is somewhat disturbing I think. 

 

This morning I discovered that yet again, I had grounds to do an "I told you so dance" - this time because South Africa's government had thumbed it's nose at our pink community - in effect saying to us "fuck you", because they not only ignored all our pleas to speak out against the oppressive regime in Uganda - but also went the extra distance to appoint homophobe Jon Qwelane as its ambassador there. 

 

And it seems Jon was also sneaked into Uganda two weeks ago when JZ went there on his infamous and disgraceful state visit - while he is supposed to be in the Equality Court answering charges of hate speech and incitement to hatred and even violence against the gay community. 

 

In so doing, the ANC has effectively demonstrated that it would even shield a homophobe from facing the just and legal consequences of his incitement to hatred of LGBT people. What else is there to be inferred from this, other than the ANC showing its true, homophobic colors?

Be that as it may, one other interesting event took place over the weekend - the killing of well-known right wing leader Eugene Tereblanche - a 69 year old man who had been recently rebuilding his somewhat impotent white supremacist wannabe terror-group, the AWB with its swastika-like symbol and Nazi ideology and structure. 

Once Upon A Hate-Crime

Come kiddies, gather round - aunty Tina is going to tell you all a story... and I want to share it with you because it made me think. Pay attention in class, because I will be throwing lollipops at anyone I see sleeping - and there will be questions afterwards.

Once upon a time, Mr. Mouse looked through a crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package.