Sometimes life hands us a lemon. This is just one of those things that happens in the run of our daily lives, a truth, an undeniable fact of our existence - a thing which defines our state as mortal, fallible beings, and which clarifies one particular aspect of life - something which humans spend their lives searching for.
Either you have it, or you don't. And as human beings - we don't. We may have the illusion of it, the temporary illusion where we may have power or influence over others, or a situation - but this passes, as do all things. Eventually the wheel turns, and those on top find themselves lying in the road - asking what happened and what the number of that bus was. Ain't karma a bitch?
The truth is, everyone gets run over - or run down at some point. Sometimes good things happen to bad people, sometimes bad things happen to good people - but my point is, regardless of what happens to us, it is up to us how we choose to handle it.
The obnoxious girl at the drive-thru who called you "sir" despite the obvious, the attendant at the department store who refused to help you, the stranger who called you "a queer piece of shit" in the street, the supervisor who criticized your appearance, the friends and family who turned their backs on you when you came out, the lover who betrayed you, the pastor who told you God hates you and ordered you to leave your church, the government minister who changed the law to exclude you - all provide examples of the illusion of power and those who think they have it. All of them crowning themselves with wreaths of violet pain and grasping scepters of golden authority, applying to others whatever they see fit.
So, life hands you a lemon.
Some people decide to do something with it, make lemonade or whatever - some people just sit there and look at the lemon.
Yes, I know. It sounds awfully preachy and condescending and might cause you to expect a little speech or pep-talk featuring words on the line of "winners never quit, and quitters never win", or "get back in that saddle, move it, soldier!" For me it brings to mind that little saying about "if you don't try, you've already lost".
It is a poor workman who blames his tools.
Yes, sometimes life deals us some blows - handing us the lemon. But in truth, either you can sit there and feel sorry for yourself and perpetuate the sentiments behind that blow, loss, attack or whatever - vindicating their actions - or you can turn it to your advantage, roll with it, harness it, and make the world - or that individual sorry for screwing with you in the first place.
Ever heard that other old saying that goes "nothing succeeds like success"? I want to go one better by adding to it:
Success, and being happy and complete, despite your pain and those who hurt you - is the ultimate vengeance.
Voila' - lemonade!
If you would like to know more about Christina Engela and her writing, please feel free to browse her website.
If you’d like to send Christina Engela a question about her life as a writer or transactivist, please send an email to email@example.com or use the Contact form.
All material copyright © Christina Engela, 2019.