Tuesday, December 24, 2024

The Christian War On Everything

Family, right? Love them or hate them. At the time of the winter solstace, the Chrispies among them - who've ignored you for the rest of the year, tend to suddenly remember you exist and around midnight send you "Merry Christmas" messages via text, or on WhatsApp or Facebook. Bearing in mind that they either know you're not a Christian, or that they just casually assume that you are, this speaks to a sort of detachment from reality, lack of empathy, and entitlement that flows from what I would describe as an expression of the narcissism inherent to the religion itself.

I mean, who - what sort of person, and in what sort of mental state would send someone they barely know (and face it, some relatives really are that distant) this sort of message AND tack on a "thank God for sending Jesus" at the end?!

No, everyone is not a Christian - and just because you are, and just because you believe in these fairytales doesn't mean everyone else does too - or should - or should pander to your shortsighted, selfish and wilful imposition of your beliefs onto them.

What message does all this actually deliver? Ah, let me count the ways!

1) That you don't care enough about me to know that I'm not a Christian (and haven't been for nearly 30 years) and don't celebrate Christmas - or that you DO KNOW and nevertheless proceed to push your religion on me anyway.

2) That even if I were a Christian, I wouldn't appreciate having mindless religious tripe shoved in my face, least of all other people's.

3) That while I haven't heard from you in the past year (or longer) you only bother to acknowledge my existence by shoving your facetious insincere religious bullshit into my digital inbox when it conveniences you to. Does it serve to ease your conscience? Hmm? Did you do it to score brownie points with "Jesus"? At what point did I become a factor in your scheme?

4) That while I've been patently ignored for the past year (or even longer) I should be grateful and think well of you that you chose to flaunt your piety and religiosity in my face on a day which has special significance to you and not to me.

As far as I can recall, it has been pointed out by countless sources for every year in at least the past two decades, that there are literally DOZENS of other holidays or days of special significance to people of all sorts, of other religions, and even secular holidays during the December-January period. People like me who aren't religious any longer just tend to stumble blissfully unaware through all of them without paying much attention, or noticing, or caring half a damn - except where some idiot walks up and grabs us by the throat to demand we bend the knee and kow-tow to their brand of delusional fantasy.

Well, fuck that.

What does this mean - that *gasp* there are other religious holidays over the same period as Christmas? Obviously - and no, they didn't need to ask Christians permission for that! For starters, what that implies is that "Jesus" definitely is not "the reason for the season". The "season" is as diverse as the people who share in it. 

You might notice that the only religious or cultural group vocally claiming this season of the Winter Solstace as their own, and insisting - nay, demanding that people acknowledge THEIR OWN religion is... Christian nationalists. Hannukah? Never heard of her. Kwanzaa? What's that? "All these people saying 'happy holidays' instead of 'Merry Christmas' are just anti-Christian and waging a war on Christmas!" they say, making Americans of themselves. Ever heard that tune before? Only every damn year, right? Regular, like clockwork - right after Halloween, it's "Brace yourselves - the 'war on Christmas' posts are coming!" 

It's a fucking broken record - an ear-rending din just like fucking Xmas carols playing inside shopping malls to sell more consumer goods in the "Christmas spirit" - and don't you dare spell it "Xmas", then there'll be hell to pay! (Or is that "Hell" with a capital "H"? Oh, whatever. I really don't care.)

Many years ago, when I still marked the event, I was left speechless when someone started climbing down my throat about writing "Xmas" instead of "Christmas" on a gift tag - it was just plain shorthand, after all - but I was berated for "cheapening the significance and true meaning" of the holiday! I often wonder what they would've said if I'd used "Giftmas" instead LOL. Imagine the ingratitude? Needless to say, I never sent them anything again, and good riddance.

Bearing in mind that "happy holidays" is a nice, considerate, respectful, neutral way of wishing anyone a happy holiday season regardless of who they are or what beliefs they adhere to, without automatically assuming they are Christian, or that they share the same particular beliefs as the person expressing the term, or without assaulting anyone with Christian proselytizing. It's also not a new thing.

What - you mean it's not part of "woke"? Firstly, "woke" is a bullshit derogatory term weaponized and deployed by the sort of emotionally stunted ignoramuses too bereft of empathy, compassion and decency to remember or understand those very terms. Secondly, the phrase "happy holidays" has been around for many years as an inclusive holiday expression - since as far back as the mid 19th century, as has the alternative, "season's greetings", and both have origins in printed greeting cards that can be traced back to the 1860s.

Thus the outrage of so many Christians about people using a term practically invented by other Christians of the day to generously and politely include everyone in the general festive season, makes very little sense - except to show the ignorance and spitefulness of contemporary Christians who have been captured by the Christian nationalist movement.

You see, it's not nearly as much a "war on Christmas" as it is a Christian "war on everything that isn't solely and expressly Christian" or made subservient to Christian dominionism.

LGBT? Trans people? Right wing crackpot Christians say that's sinful, so even in secular states laws should be subverted and constitutions overruled to destroy them. Feminism? Women's rights? Racial equality? The same goose-stepping, Nazi-saluting, white-hood-wearing loons (when they're not sitting in church pews or swaying under the influence of the "Holy Spirit" - or some other kind of spirit) hold to the Bronze Age notions that women should be property, along with people of color.

And of course, in countries which are cultural meltingpots featuring scores of non-Christian cultures, belief systems and identities, the Christo-fascists insist that Christianity and its special days and beliefs - no matter how abusive, fantastic or ludicrous, "should" be respected above all others.

You will celebrate Christmas, whether you want to or not; you will say "Merry Christmas" (not Xmas), and not "happy holidays"!

I have nothing at all good to say about the sort of mindset, cultures - and people - motivated by a zealous piety, spiteful shortsightedness, and hateful ignorance to refuse to accept that other people, regardless of who they, or where they come from, or what they believe, have as much right as they to enjoy the same freedoms, rights and privileges which life has to offer.

These sort of people represent the single largest threat to what remains of civilization in the 21st century, and the frustrating reality is that they've crept in everywhere and they're so difficult to avoid entirely with much success. I mean, you see them everywhere - holding prayer meetings in the workplace and at restaurants; badgering government into co-operative agreements with right wing "think tanks" and as "friends of the court"; writing nasty letters to the papers to complain about "moral decay"; picketing funerals; boycotting TV channels that publish content they disagree with while paradoxically insisting that "Christian" bakeries shouldn't be forced to provide services to "sinful" gay couples getting married; opining that transwomen shouldn't be treated decently by society - nevermind allowing them to compete in women's sports; spreading conspiracy theories, fake news and deliberately concocting blatant propaganda; buying politicians and hijacking political parties - and even entire countries - the list is simply fucking endless!

*Deep breath*

So, how does one respond to such assenine and thinly disguised bullying, and offensive (in the original militaristic evangelical sense) sentiments without resorting to a frothing, hysterical tirade ending in a volley of heart-felt "fuck yous" and hitting the "block" button?

Fortunately, the old saying "you can choose your friends, but not your family" is bullshit - not that idioms really hold much sway in how people actually live their lives - otherwise so many who live in glass houses wouldn't be so boldly chucking stones about. You see, this idiom refers to the older saying "blood is thicker than water", whose implications are clear enough - or are they? The water, it seems has become somewhat muddy - or is that bloody? The actual original idiom was: "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" - which really means, in simple terms, I get to choose my own family, regardless of who likes it, or not.

Ultimately, this means my family consists of five others: my wife, and our four cats. The rest don't matter. Neither does what they think of that.

After a few moments of casual forethought in weighing up my response, during which the aforementioned was sorely tempting, I settled on a simple "happy holidays". 

After all, "happy holidays" is the usual fare, init? So, "happy holidays" it is - with all the same sincerity, context and subtext as found in the beloved expression of the American South: "Why, bless your lil heart".

Until the same time again, next year, I suppose.

Happy holidays, folks.

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