I find the older one gets, the harder it is to find and make true friends. Some time ago I had many real life friends, some with whom I had kept relationships going since junior school, people that I shared and did everything with - even until long after high school. And then one day, about ten years ago - I lost every single one of them, every single one - including a best friend I had known 14 years.
The event that precipitated this? My coming out as transgender. It seems that suddenly people didn't know me anymore (or want to know me) and were suddenly far too busy to call, talk, or socialize. Suddenly, everybody was a workaholic. Suddenly, people weren't talking to me as much as at or about me. Even my best friend at the time - a guy I had known since starting high school, who was as a brother to me, and who had been quite comfortable with the thought of me being bisexual (as long as it was closeted) - was suddenly afraid to be around me in case people started doubting his manhood.
It seems that when you keep your nature a secret, and when you lie about who you are, people love you - and when you reveal yourself and live honestly, they despise you and even fear you for it.
But life goes on, you make friends, you lose them, you make new friends, they move on, you move on, friendships become less close as this process continues. It is rare these days to find friends who will really stick with you through your whole life - and who prove it.
The thing I've learned is to give abundantly of myself to my friends, and to accept what they are willing to offer in return, without expecting anything. That way I don't get disappointed. That way, they don't get too close. It saves me a lot of hurt in the long run.
So my advice to you is, when or wherever you find friends - appreciate them, love them. Enjoy life, enjoy them - they won't be there forever. Neither will you.
“The Time Saving Agency” by Christina Engela
“The TSA liked having fresh agents on the job with a clear mind and steady hand. Time travel wasn’t for the faint of heart. The pay was good enough, but as Scrooby had decided long ago, that even if he didn’t get paid for it, the thrill alone was payment enough. Then again, the TSA realized they couldn’t afford to have disgruntled employees with the power of God at their fingertips, so the pay was very, very good.
Things happen at a certain time in a certain way, which in a sense, is what it’s all about. If it didn’t, then things would be completely different. Johnathan Scrooby was extremely tense. His job at the Time Saving Agency was a tough one. Billions of lives depended on him not screwing up. Once, he’d screwed up in only a small way and people wore those little yellow smiley faces on t-shirts for decades afterwards. And that was just a small screw up.
A week ago, the American War of Independence was fought in Mexico. Yesterday Napoleon managed to dig a tunnel across the English Channel, invaded London and everybody at the Agency ended up speaking French for a while. Sorting that out had been… well, challenging. Mon dieu.
Something smelled funny in the Anals of History. Things were not as they were supposed to be. Someone somewhere was tinkering with the works. Somehow, he had to go back and fix it or who knows what might happen this time.”
Published: May 25, 2016
Binding: Perfect-bound Paperback
Dimensions (inches): 4.25″ wide x 6.88″ tall (pocketbook)
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